Crossover Crazy
by KidneyThief
Summary: A crossover between the movie Dogma, Angel, and Buffy. Sound crazy enough? Just you wait till I get to the guest apperances!
1. Class

*This is just something that came to me, It will probably suck and if it does please tell me. This is my first fic.  
  
*This is a crossover with the movie Dogma if you haven't seen the movie you probably won't understand the story. So go out rent the movie, then come back and read.  
  
*By the way I own nothing, no one, nada. No infringement intended. Even if you sued me I've got no money for you to take: P  
  
Here we go!  
  
The classroom bustled with activity, everyone was busy, some were trying to finish copying their homework before the teacher came back in. Others were chatting loudly about the latest fight, or couple, or both. The most intense conversation however was occurring in the back of the classroom between three teens, who couldn't have looked more different if they had tried.  
  
"No way! You're nuts! We're not going back down there." The Hispanic boy looked back and forth between the two girls he was seated in between. "Kit back me up here."  
  
The girl in all black eyes him with distaste. "As much as I hate to admit it I think Carlos has a point, last time we went down there we almost died.  
  
Dawn rolled her eyes, "But that was before, when there was a talisman, there's no more zombies down there!"  
  
"How do you that?" Carlos hissed as their math teacher lumbered back in.  
  
"Trust me." Dawn flipped her highlighted hair over her shoulder and showed them the three flashlights in her bag. "After school we map out the basement."  
  
*Okay not much of a first chapter but please review. If you like it I'll write more. Okay caught me I'll probably write more anyway! 


	2. Truth

*Told you I'd write more, It'll get better I promise  
  
* Five seconds into this chapter you'll realize that I didn't pick up where I left off. That's just the only way I can juggle all these characters, sorry if this annoys you.  
  
Connor sat on the warehouse floor, his legs crossed, his breathing deep and even. His hair was longer, but matted from life on the street. His clothing was tattered and dirty, but his senses were as sharp as ever, and he knew the second the drunken woman stumbled into the abandoned building where he was currently staying.  
  
"What do you want?" He asked Justine as she stumbled near him.  
  
"The brunette looked up at him, tears running down her face, her breath reeked of alcohol. "I'm sorry." Connor tried o walk past her but she grabbed his arm. "I killed him."  
  
He faced her, "Who?" He asked feigning disinterest.  
  
"Daniel." she whispered, "He made me."  
  
At fist Connor didn't realize what she was talking about. His eyes widened with realization as he figured out what she was saying. "No! A vampire killed my father I saw the wounds. You saw it." He said, his even monotone breaking. He was now clutching her arm.  
  
"No, he wasn't, I killed him and made it look like a vampire attack." Seeing the anger flare in the young mans eyes she pleaded. "He made me, He said that it was the only way to." She trailed off in a drunken haze.  
  
"Only way to what!" He shouted, grabbing her by the shoulders and shaking her.  
  
"Only way to make you kill Angelus." Justine leaned over and vomited on the cement floor. But Connor wasn't there to see it he ran out of the warehouse with all of his near-vampire speed.  
  
*Just wrapping up Joss' loose ends. 


	3. Back to the Basement

*Okay now we're getting into the better stuff (I hope)  
  
*It now occurs to me to tell you that Kit, Carlos and the entire basement thing is from the first episode of season seven. So if you haven't seen that yet you might not really get the end of this chapter.  
  
*Also, later on in the story (The next chapter) there will be some semi- spoilers just rumors about the seventh season that I decided were kinda neat so I added them into my story.  
  
Onward  
  
  
  
"You guys I'm freaking out down here, it's too dark, give me a flashlight."  
  
"You're such a baby, we haven't even gone down the steps yet."  
  
"Stop fighting you two, here." Dawn pressed a flashlight into each of her friend's hands. "Let's go."  
  
Three wavering beams appeared on the steps leading down into the dark. Kit took out her notebook; she had been the one nominated to sketch a map of the basement as they went along. "Maybe this is a bad idea." Kit objected as her pencil danced across the page. "What if we get lost? We should at least leave bread-crumbs or something."  
  
"Now who's being a baby?" Carlos retorted, "besides if we do get lost Dawn will just call her super-sister and we'll be saved right?"  
  
Dawn slipped her cell out of her pocket and showed it to her friends. "Absolutely, although let's try to avoid that at all costs, Buffy doesn't even know that we're down here. I told her we were going to the mall after school."  
  
They walked in silence the only sound coming from the scratching of Kit's pencil. Until they came to a heavy iron door. "Do we go through there?" Carlos asked as he tried the handle, surprised to find it open.  
  
"Sure," said Dawn as she took the lead, stepping into the room. Kit followed her closely. Dawn surveyed the small room giving a surprised shout when she saw a familiar huddled form in the corner.  
  
"What! Is it a Zombie?" Carlos burst in wielding a heavy pipe that he had picked up sometime along the journey.  
  
"No," Dawn said softly, "Spike it that you?  
  
At the sound of his name the souled vampire looked up. "Stop it! Leave me alone!" He screamed his voice raw. He curled up into a tighter ball.  
  
"Spike, it's me Dawn, what are you doing down here?" Her voice rather cruel as she remembered what Xander had told her about what Spike had done to her sister.  
  
Spike looked frantically at the three teens. "Bit! You have to leave, you can't be here!" He stood and tried to usher her out. "Go! Now! Don't be here!"  
  
Kit and Carlos grabbed the frozen girl and hurried back to the staircase.  
  
"Now Spikey why did you do that?" A voice asked from the back of the room. "You're such a naughty boy, sending the little treats away, they wanted to play." Drusilla stepped into the light just as she began to morph into the blonde Hell goddess, "Well then we'll just have to have a fatanbulous time without them." She grabbed his two-toned hair and pulled his head up, "Won't we Spikey?"  
  
*Remember to review 


	4. Bad News

*Remember that spoiler warning? Well this is the chapter it applies to.  
  
Rufus was asleep when a fire exploded in his room, a booming voice woke him. " BEHOLD METATRON."  
  
"Knock it off," the apostle said rubbing his eyes. As he sat up in his impossibly soft, and unbelievably large bed. "What do you want, Voice?"  
  
"Isn't anyone impressed by the fiery entrance anymore?" asked the angel as he inspected his suit for fire damage.  
  
"What do you want?" Rufus repeated, "I thought angels were supposed to stay away from humans in Heaven."  
  
"Usually we are, but this is an emergency, We have a problem." said Metatron facing the apostle who had gotten out of bed.  
  
"What else is new?" R asked as his clothes instantly changed from his pajamas with cows on them to a baggy sweat suit.  
  
"This isn't some little apocalyptic thing. This is big. The first evil is on Earth."  
  
"So it's been there before." He shrugged, "It's against the rules of the universe for it to harm anyone directly. Why are you so worried?"  
  
"If that was all that was all that was happening we wouldn't be, but it's found a way to conjure demons out of the hellmouth, there are dozens of the biggest, baddest, nasties the world as ever seen running around the country right now. Including Azrael, Bartelby and Loki. "  
  
"But Loki wasn't even in Hell, She sent him to purgatory, right?"  
  
"That's just one of the questions that need answering. We need your help."  
  
"Can't God take care of it?"  
  
"You forget apostle Her powers are limited on the Hellmouth, why do you think her two best champions live so close by? Besides she's got her hands full working with the scions to root out and ancient cult that's been killing Slayers-in-Training, One was killed just the other night in Istanbul."  
  
Rufus gave a defeated sigh. "I thought that death was supposed to be about eternal rest." He mumbled to himself. "Okay Voice what do you want me to do."  
  
Metatron's took on and important tone as he charged Rufus with the task. "You must guide Her two champions to the demons that have escaped out of the hellmouth and assist with their slaying." He handed the apostle a blank sheet of parchment. "Here, this will show you their location."  
  
"A piece of paper?"  
  
"No you idiot. It's a map."  
  
"Coulda fooled me." He muttered  
  
"A map will appear and lead you and the champions to the demon that is putting the most civilians in danger. I'll get a being to take you down to Earth. Unless you would rather skydive?"  
  
*Okay now I wrote the next chapter last night, and after reading over it I realized that I'll probably have to jack the rating up to 'R.' (just for the massive amounts of the 'f' word in it.) So I'll probably work the kinks out and post it sometime tonight but you'll have to look for the story under 'R' ratings. 


	5. Arguments

"You fucking stabbed me!"  
  
"I said I was sorry."  
  
"Sorry? You're sorry? Fuck you man, Fuck you! You're sorry, oh now I feel better."  
  
"Back off Loki! I was half-crazy that day,"  
  
"No Bartelby, you were completely fucking crazy. Now what, I'm just supposed to believe that you're cured? Just like that? Fuck that!"  
  
"Hey you don't know what I went through! You went to fucking Purgatory. I was in Hell. You don't have a clue what happened to me there!"  
  
"It's your own fault! Ending existence, what the fuck were you thinking?" The pair of ex-angels started screaming at each other, their yells being swallowed by the quiet graveyard that they were walking through.  
  
Three hours later found the men sitting on the ground leaning against opposite sides of a tombstone. They were both out of breath; Loki was sporting a black eye while Bartelby was nursing his hand and lightly touching a bloodied lip.  
  
"How did we get here? I mean this is Earth right?" The dirty blonde asked, "I mean it looks like Earth, feels like Earth. But what kind of town has so many graveyards? Maybe this is just a different level of Purgatory. Or maybe."  
  
"This is Earth." Bartelby said cutting off his friend's musings.  
  
"How the fuck do you know?"  
  
"I've got a feeling."  
  
Loki rolled his eyes, "So, are we human?"  
  
Bartelby's tongue darted out and tasted a bit of the blood on his lip. "I'd say so."  
  
"Strange, I don't feel human."  
  
"How would you know what it's like to be human, the only time you were human you got drunk off your ass." Loki reached around the tombstone and gave Bartelby the finger. "Why don't you just check."  
  
"Check?"  
  
"If you're a human you won't be atomically impaired anymore."  
  
"Right!" Bartelby heard some shuffling then Loki's sigh. "Yeah I'm human all right. So do you think maybe She forgave us and sent us to Earth as humans to make penance?"  
  
"No, She didn't pull us out, it was something old, something evil."  
  
"How do you know?"  
  
"I've got a feeling."  
  
"You and your fucking feelings, well I've got a feeling too, I don't think I'm human. Maybe not an angel anymore, but not human."  
  
"Well then let's go." Bartelby stood and helped his friend up with the same hand that had given him the black eye.  
  
"Go where."  
  
"Well if we want to find out whether or not we're human we have to see if we still have our powers."  
  
"So that means we're going."  
  
"To the airport." 


	6. Departure

The airport bustled with activity. Two people stood still by the security being jostled by the rushed passengers.  
  
"I can't do this."  
  
"Yes, you can."  
  
"No, you don't understand I tried to kill her, I would've killed all of them. How can they forgive me, why should they?  
  
The Englishman cleaned his glasses and put a comforting hand on the redhead's shoulder. "They'll forgive you, you're still Willow, you're still their friend."  
  
"What if I don't really have my powers under control? What if I hurt someone?"  
  
"Just remember what the coven taught you and you'll be fine." Seeing the terror in her eyes he added. "They need you, Willow, you said it yourself, something bad is happening on the hellmouth. Buffy needs someone with magikal powers to help her."  
  
She hugged Giles tightly. "Come with me, please?  
  
"I can't, besides you only have one ticket." He said gesturing to the ticket in her hand with the words London Air printed in bold letters on its cover.  
  
With a final hug the redhead walked through the metal detectors and out of his sight. Willow walked toward her gate with false confidence, she was going back, to Hell. 


	7. Alone

*I know that I could probably just wait for the season premier of Angel and see how it all turns out, but where's the fun it that. Besides, this way works out better with my future story line.  
  
"Angel Investigations, How may I help you?" Fred's accented voice asked as she answered the phone in her office. "How many were there?" She asked of the person on the phone as she started to take notes. "Well, let me see. No we can't get there this week. I'm sorry. No, we're just busy this week."  
  
Gunn entered the lobby hefting an ax on his shoulder; the weapon's blade was covered in green goo. "Fred?"  
  
"In here," she answered hanging up. "How did the Kapplar slaying go?" She stood and gave the tall man a hug.  
  
"Routine," He said confidently, but his wince at her hug told a different story.  
  
"What's wrong?" She looked at his pained face and sighed, gently lifting up his shirt and scowling at the cut that was bleeding sluggishly. "I'll fix you up," she said getting the first aid kit from off her cluttered desk.  
  
"It's just a scratch."  
  
She rolled her eyes at him as she started to dab the cut with alcohol. He flinched but said nothing about the pain. "We're totally booked fore the rest of the week, and most of next."  
  
"So much for our vacation."  
  
Fred began to bandage the wound. "I don't know how much longer we can keep this up." she said. "This is your third injury in two weeks! That leg wound from the vamp attack really should have had stitches."  
  
"Scars make me manlier." Gunn joked, "Besides what are we supposed to do? Stop fighting?  
  
"No, not stop, slow down maybe." finished with his cut she pulled his shirt back down. "Maybe we should put more of an effort into finding Angel and Cordelia." They walked into the lobby.  
  
"Not to mention Gru and."  
  
"Connor." Finished Fred as she came face to face with the youth that was standing in the doorway. * Thanks to those people who have reviewed. 


	8. Arrivals

* This part also has some spoilery things in it (Just an event that happens next week)  
  
"What time did Giles say her flight was getting in?" Xander shifted nervously. He was wearing a clean blue suit and was constantly checking his watch.  
  
"Um." Buffy rummaged through her small purse, finally fishing out a small scrap of notebook paper. "11:00."  
  
"It's 11:30!"  
  
"Her plane is late Xander, it happens a lot, in fact airports are kind of known for it." The young man began to pace nervously. Buffy grabbed his shoulder. "What's wrong?"  
  
"It's just weird, you know? She's been gone for so long, and I don't even know how we're supposed to act around her. after seeing what she did to Warren."  
  
"She's still Willow, we have to be supportive."  
  
"Oh I'm supportive, I'm bursting with support, but. it's just confusing. I wish things could go back to like how they were before."  
  
"Maybe they can." But the slayer didn't sound very sure.  
  
"So?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"What the fuck do you think? Can you sense their sins?" Loki made a sweeping gesture encompassing all of the passengers in the crowded airport.  
  
"Well," Bartelby considered in a haughty tone "As we've already ascertained that we are no longer angels I think you might be on track with your not- quite-human theory."  
  
"So what do you feel?"  
  
"I can sense snippets of their thoughts, glimpses of their souls. Nothing like the whole picture that I used to get."  
  
"And you call me the melodramatic one." Loki rolled his eyes and began to walk in the direction of the security gate.  
  
"Where are you going!" Bartelby fell in step behind him.  
  
Loki whirled on his friend. "Where the fuck do you thing I'm going?! I'm some kind of an angel-human hybrid. There's probably people hunting me down. I can't trust my only friend not to fucking stab me the second I get in his way. So, I don't know about you, but I'm going to the fucking bar!"  
  
"You are the dramatic one." muttered Bartelby under his breath, louder he added. "I don't think that getting drunk is really the answer right now. Alcohol has always been your biggest problem!"  
  
"No Bartelby you have always been my biggest problem! You convinced me to quit! You killed me! You like a fucking plague, all you do is fuck up my life!"  
  
A small crowd had gathered around the fighting men. The ex-angels turned to face the group of people just in time to see a small redhead that had been making her way toward the gate, fade then disappear completely from sight.  
  
Willow had stepped off the plane unsure of her footing, she had been on the plane for nearly eight hours and yet it was roughly the same time that it had been when she had left London. She walked toward the security gate, trying to mentally prepare herself for the first time she would see her friends in three months.  
  
As she approached she saw that a small crowd had gathered right outside the gate. She heard raised voices. As she got closer she saw Buffy and Xander were waiting for her. Panic rose in her chest, *I can't do this*, she thought frantically, *not yet. I can't face them*.  
  
*Don't let them see me*. As soon as the thought was done forming she felt her magik unfurl within her. She looked at her hand and watched it disappear in front of her face. "Damn." she whispered and turned to run.  
  
"Did you see that?" Loki hissed.  
  
"You mean that girl that just went invisible?" Bartelby sighed with relief when he realized that Loki's rant was over.  
  
"No I mean the pig that just flew out of your ass! Yes the fucking girl!"  
  
"I can still see her, a little. She's transparent and flickering."  
  
"What? Why the fuck can you see her and I can't!?"  
  
"Well, magiks don't fool angels, We're probably still part angel, so if you try hard enough you should be able to see her."  
  
Loki squinted and focused with all his might, by now the crowd had mostly dissipated, and he saw a shimmer of red. He made out the girl's ghost-like form just as she turned and fled. "We have to follow her!"  
  
"Why? She's obviously a witch! I don't know what has happened to us but I know that we don't need a witch complicating things!"  
  
"Fuck that, I'm following her!" With that Loki strode off after the witch.  
  
"This is not a good idea." Shaking his head Bartelby followed. 


	9. Searching

*I know that it's been awhile since I updated. There's a very good reason. I'm lazy. Anyway I'm so going to make up for it, and I'll probably be posting a new story soon. *  
  
Gunn was yelling at the attendant on the rented boat. "We're not going back!"  
  
"Hey buddy listen up, I got to do what they say." The small man whined, pointing at the crackling radio. "The coast guard says there's a storm headed this way. You can go treasure hunting some other time."  
  
At that moment Fred, who had been intently watching the machine drag along the ocean floor for the past few hours, started to shout. "Charles, I think we have something!"  
  
Connor barely looked up, he had heard that same shout nearly a dozen times that day, every time it had turned out to be nothing more than a dead tree or a piece of junk.  
  
The machine began to raise the object from the ocean floor. As soon as Connor saw the top of the coffin rise out of the sea he jumped up. "That's it." He said in a disinterested monotone, as if he was pointing out an interesting rock rather than the coffin that he had trapped his own father in.  
  
"Holy shit!" remarked the boat operator. "Hey you can't do that! That's somebody's coffin!"  
  
Gunn steadied the swinging coffin and nodded to Fred who stood at the controls. She pressed a button and it was slowly lowered to the floor. Connor began to pace up and down the deck.  
  
Using a crow bar Gunn quickly dispatched of the welding and smoothly slid out the poles holding the coffins lid on. The boat operator ran over to the radio, he grabbed the receiver only to have it knocked out of his hand by an angry Connor. "Sit." He advised the man, who quickly obeyed. Connor walked over and helped Gunn take the heavy lid off.  
  
Gunn peered into the coffin, Angel lay there, his skin pure white, he looked like a mummy, and his skin was chapped and sores spider-webbed across his face. "Is he dead?" Asked Connor's voice without emotion.  
  
"No, vamps dust when they die, he just needs blood," Gunn ran over and grabbed a large pocket knife out of the frightened attendant's pocket. He deftly cut into his palm and squeezed the blood into the vampire's open mouth.  
  
"Charles, maybe that's not a very good-" Fred's protest was cut short when without even opening his eyes Angel's arm shot out and grabbed the man's hand, pulled it to his mouth and bit deeply. Panicking Gunn yanked his hand out of the coffin.  
  
The small amount of blood had been enough to roust the vampire and he began to struggle against the thick wire cables that bound him to the bottom of the coffin. "Connor?" Angel asked deliriously.  
  
"We have to get him home." 


	10. Best laid plans

Willow fled the scene of her latest magikal screw up with great haste, cursing herself as she sidestepped the large crowds. The redhead didn't know how, or why she was suddenly invisible. She glanced around, looking vainly for a pay phone that she could use to call Giles. Unbeknownst to her she was followed by two ex-angels.  
  
"Okay here's the plan."  
  
"Since when do you make the plans?"  
  
"Since yours got us both killed!"  
  
Bartelby shrugged, "Okay fine, what's the plan?"  
  
"We trap her."  
  
"You do know she's not a stray cat, right?"  
  
Loki glared at him. "In a fucking closet moron. Then we ask her if she can help us, or maybe help us find out how we got here." The blonde looked very proud of himself.  
  
"Are you stoned?! What the hell should she help us? If she works for the powers she'll kill us for trying to end existence. If she's evil she'll kill us for getting in her way!"  
  
Loki thought long and hard. "So, first we ask her whether she's good or evil, then we tell her why we can see through her spell!"  
  
"All right then, you talk to her, I'll stay a safe distance away."  
  
"Fuck you man!"  
  
~  
  
Willow didn't notice when Loki walked along side of her then slowed down, forcing her to move closer to the wall. She didn't notice it when Bartelby opened the closet door ahead of her. She sure as Hell noticed when Loki bumped into her hard enough to send her flying into the closet and the door was promptly slammed shut after her.  
  
"You were supposed to go into the closet with her!"  
  
"Maybe this isn't such a great plan." Loki conceded.  
  
"Too late now, you gotta get in there and beg her not to kill you!" Bartelby tried to open the door to shove Loki in. But he couldn't. "Shit it's locked!"  
  
"Locked? It wasn't locked one fucking minute ago! Did she lock it?" Loki glanced around; "maybe we should just run."  
  
"And have an incredibly pissed off witch on our tail? Now I remember why I made the plans."  
  
~  
  
As soon as Willow was pushed into the small closet she immediately locked the door. Then she tried in vain to control the rage and subsequently the power that was building in her. Looking down at her hand she could see that she was once again visible. However she didn't need a mirror to tell that her eyes had changed.  
  
"Well okay, She can't fucking stay in there forever. So we'll just wait for her to come out, then." Loki was saying when the door flew open and hitting Bartelby squarely in the face with as much force as Willow could muster.  
  
"Oh fuck!" Bartelby fell to the floor clutching his bleeding nose.  
  
"Nice," commented Loki with raised eyebrows. Then he looked at Bartelby's red-haired assailant. Her eyes were jet black. Raising both hands he backed away slowly. "Woah, before you do anything crazy, just know that. It was all his idea." He pointed an accusatory finger at the fallen Bartelby.  
  
Willow looked at the floor concentrating on the breathing exercises that Giles and the coven had taught her. When she looked back up her eyes had returned to their normal shade of green. "Why did you shove me into a closet?" She asked in a neutral tone.  
  
Bartelby stood shakily, "We needed to talk to you."  
  
"Who are you?"  
  
"We could ask you the same fucking question." After receiving glares from both Bartelby and Willow, Loki added, "But we won't"  
  
"Just be quiet Loki. We noticed your disappearing act back there. And we wanted to ask your advice about a magikal problem we're having."  
  
"So you pushed me into a closet to talk to me?"  
  
Loki took a step closer to the glowering redhead. "That was all his fucking idea. He's a bit of a screw up." 


	11. Demons

*Okay, I don't know what ships I'm going to have in the fic. I'm not a particularly big fan of any one ship. But if you guys have any suggestions just give them to me in a review. Thanks, bye.  
  
"I just can't believe he'd do that to me. I was loyal to him for seven years. Well except for that one time in Mexico, and that didn't count."  
  
"Of course it didn't." Anya comforted the crying woman while shifting in the uncomfortable suit-skirt she was wearing, she stifled a sigh, I hate having to pretend to be a make-over artist just to get a wish, the demon thought.  
  
"He makes me want to scream, ya know?" The annoying woman cracked her wad of bubble gum and sat back in her couch, making it much harder for Anya to finish putting blush on her sallow cheeks.  
  
"I know, men are terrible, evil even, don't you just wish."  
  
"But Dave, he's more that evil!" The woman blubbered, cutting Anya off. "He's. He's. I wish he would just." The doorbell rang, causing the vengeance demon to sigh in defeat. The women jumped up, "Maybe its Dave!" she cried hopefully, bounding over to the door. She flung it open to reveal a man in a white suit and hat. Based on the confused look the woman gave the man Anya assumed this wasn't Dave, the demon watched their exchange from the hallway.  
  
"Hello I'm with the Environmental Protection Agency, we're investigating possible freon leaks. Tell me do you have central air?"  
  
The woman shrugged. Um yeah, we've got central air. What's freon?"  
  
He rolled his eyes and began to pull a knife out of his pocket. Anya realized what was going on just in time. "Hey back off! She's mine!"  
  
"Oh really?" The man quickly cut the woman's throat. She fell to the floor, dead.  
  
Anya let her demon face show. "You jerk! I almost had a wish!" She slapped him on the face; he was thrown into the wall and slid to floor, staring at Anya's demon visage in shock. "Wishes aren't easy to come by you know! D'hoffryn's already coming down on my ass, I really needed a grizzly wish! Now she's dead and it's all your fault!"  
  
"Are you a vengeance demon?" The man asked from the floor.  
  
"Wow, you're a quick one. Now, give me one reason I shouldn't beat you to death."  
  
He scrambled to his feet and whipped off his hat. Two small horns sprouted from his forehead. "Because I'm going to get you back on D'hoffryn's good side." He offered his hand. "I'm Azreal." 


	12. Conversations

"Well, we're angels, sort of"  
  
"Sort of?"  
  
"That's a really interesting story actually, Bartelby here-"  
  
"Could you just please refrain from speaking"  
  
"Fine then, you tell her."  
  
"It's a very long story."  
  
"I've got time- Oh Goddess! I don't have time! I was supposed to meet Buffy and Xander! Willow stood, nearly knocking the chair over; she grabbed her bag and started to practically run out of the airport coffee shop. The two men just watched her leave. A second later she stormed back in and grabbed Loki's arm, "Come on! You're coming with me. You can tell me all about in the cab."  
  
~~~~  
  
"I called Giles, he said Willow did get on the plane. It made a stop in New York, she could have gotten off there."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Maybe she wasn't ready to see us? Maybe she lost control of her powers? I don't know." Buffy sat down and shrugged helplessly.  
  
"Maybe she'll show up any second." Xander looked expectantly at the door, then slumped. "That always works in the movies."  
  
Buffy laid a comforting hand on Xander's arm. "We'll find her."  
  
~~~~  
  
"Why?"  
  
"I thought you killed my father."  
  
Angel grabbed his shoulders and shook him. "I am your father! Me! I'm the one that loved you more than anything. I'm the one that tried to protect you when Holtz stole you and forced you to grow up in Hell!"  
  
Connor cringed "I'm. I'm sorry." He looked at the floor.  
  
"What're they saying?" Gunn poked his head out the door.  
  
Fred pulled him back inside the office. "Eavesdropping is rude!" She cracked the door. "It's better to just overhear."  
  
Gunn gave her a brief kiss and sat down next to her. "That's my girl!" The couple listened to Angel and Connor yell for the next half an hour. Finally father and son hugged, all was forgiven if not exactly forgotten.  
  
~~~~  
  
Willow held out her arm to signal one of the taxis that was waiting by the airport. When one rolled up the witch shoved Bartelby and Loki into the dingy interior before getting in herself. "Revello Drive." she told the driver, then she turned to Bartelby and Loki, "Now, talk."  
  
"Alright we'll tell you, but first I have to ask, are you evil?" Willow jerked back as if she'd been slapped.  
  
"Shut the fuck up Loki!" Bartelby elbowed his friend. "As I said before, we used to be angels, Loki here was none other that the Angel of Death."  
  
Loki inflated, "And I was damn good at too! Until this jackass fucked it up."  
  
"I felt bad for the humans Loki was killing. So I got him drunk and convinced him to quit."  
  
"It's all his fucking fault! Because I disobeyed her, She sentenced us to spend eternity on Earth, or more specifically Wisconsin."  
  
"It wasn't my fault! You flipped her off! If you has just been reasonable she wouldn't have been so angry."  
  
"Fuck you! If you hadn't convinced me to quit I wouldn't have-"  
  
"Who's She?" Willow interpreted the arguing pair.  
  
"God."  
  
"Umm. Okay, So why aren't you in Wisconsin?"  
  
"That's a very good question. Did you hear that Bartleby? She asked why we're not in Wisconsin. So why don't you tell her Bartelby, tell her why I'm not in Wisconsin, in my apartment, watching my fucking cartoons!"  
  
"I tried to destroy existence." Murmured Bartelby.  
  
"What was that."? Loki asked loudly, cupping his hand to his ear, "Speak up won't you?"  
  
"I tried to destroy existence." He said louder, "But it wasn't my fault, there was this demon named Azreal.." 


End file.
